‘Gossip Girl’ Recap: “The Hurt Locket”
We’ve been waiting so long for Gossip Girl to return that we couldn’t keep our feelings about last night’s show to ourselves. Here are Jean and Amanda’s thoughts on the episode:
Jean: The major takeaway from last night’s Gossip Girl: Little Jenny Humphrey’s way-too-long bleached-blonde straw-like hair extensions really compliment her raccoon eyeliner. Truly. Every time you get the urge to punch Little J in the face, just remember: Little J’s only 16. Maybe you, too, were an annoying teenager once, dealing drugs with your ambassador’s son not-boyfriend and sewing pills into bolero jackets at important French ambassador dinners.
Amanda: Ah, Little J has come so far from her Brooklyn days. I don’t know about you, but I was not sewing drugs into bolero sweaters when I was 16 (is she 16? 15? How old is this girl now?). Anyway, this whole story line is completely ridiculous, or maybe I just don’t understand what it’s like to grow up on the Upper East Side.
Jean: Speaking of, it looks like winter break on the Upper East Side lasts a few months. We joined the group again sometime in January, and not much actually happened while we were away. Rufus and Lily were still fighting over the fact that she spent the night in a hotel room with her ex-husband, Chuck and Blair were still Chuck and Blair (thankfully), and Dan Humphrey was still an annoying know-it-all.
Amanda: Wait, wait, wait. Chuck has been obsessed with this mystery woman whom he saw at his father’s grave. My question: why does it take him one episode to track her down and then next week we learn definitively that she’s his mom — but he didn’t figure this out already during the whole hiatus?
Jean: Ah, but I’m not certain it actually is his mom. Knowing Gossip Girl, mystery lady’s probably the mother of a long-lost Bass sibling. Or a con artist. Either way, I think we’ll find out there’s more to this woman than we know. Also — I loved how Blair put aside her quest to start a chapter of an elite French secret society at NYU (just go with it) to help Chuck. That’s true love, especially when, as Serena told her, “Anyone who meets you can tell you’re an elitist snob who’s perfect to run a secret society.”
Amanda: Oh, that was a very sweet moment between Serena and Blair! I liked how Serena was able to step out of her little world of one and compliment someone else in her time of need. And the hint of sarcasm was truly amazing for someone so vapid. Speaking of Ms. Plunging V, I found myself really hating her this episode. The first half of this season she’s been a wild child — she hooked up with Nate’s married Senator cousin, and now we have to believe she’s madly in love with Nate and they’re going to be happy? I don’t buy it.
Jean: Me either. It’s not gonna last. (Man, I sound really cynical today.) Unless they do take it slow, but apparently Nate’s idea of taking it slow is throwing Serena down on the couch and having his way with her. So I don’t see that happening. Two notes about the ambassador’s dinner before we wrap this up: Was no one near the coatroom to hear Serena and Nate going at it? And how did Serena’s shoes match that drug jacket so perfectly if it was a gift and she didn’t know she was going to be wearing it?
Amanda: The shoes didn’t bother me as much as the fact that Serena’s dress was seemingly gone by the time they were done with their business. Her pill jacket was gone, but if it wasn’t would she have skulked out of that party with nothing but that little sweater on? But enough about the children. What’s going on with Rufus and the neighbor? He’s mad at Lily so he goes and hangs out with this married woman instead — why is he turning into Serena? I hope this plot line develops as quickly at the Chuck’s mother one, because Rufus needs to get back to advising Dan about how to get Vanessa back.
Well, that’s it ’til next time, Upper East Siders. What did you think of the episode? Was it worth waiting through the interminably long hiatus?
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